


Blue Three

by poemygod



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Poe Dameron (Comics)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 02:52:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13448991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poemygod/pseuds/poemygod
Summary: THE LAST JEDI SPOILERSAfter the Battle of Crait, the remaining members of the Resistance meet up with Black Squadron on Poe Dameron's home moon of Yavin-4. In his efforts to rebuild the rebellion from the ground up, the pilot has lost himself in grief and guilt, throwing himself into his work.His saving grace comes in the form of Jessika Pava.This is a continuation of my piece titled "Elpis", locatedHERE





	Blue Three

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Elpis](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13201263) by [poemygod](https://archiveofourown.org/users/poemygod/pseuds/poemygod). 



**whatever our souls are made of**

It should not make her so apprehensive to knock on his office door. Fifteen years of experience, going to see him as a Squad Leader at the Academy, stopping by his office during her first days with the Resistance, and later palming her way into his quarters to steal a few moments of his time... She knew every possible reaction that could lie on the other side of the barrier. He'd yelled at her when she'd made stupid mistakes, he'd defended her when others failed to understand her motivations, he'd held her when she'd grieved, he'd kissed her in moments of hunger or triumph. 

She should not be nervous, and yet... 

For this, her hand trembled slightly as she brought it up to rap sharply against the doorframe. "Poe, it's Pava." She called in case he was in a mood; he was often in a mood these days. Most of the Fleet had been lost in his own series of miscalculations, and nothing she said could persuade him not to condemn himself. 

Chewing at his lip, Poe looked over the old paper transcripts he'd been able to salvage from D'Qar before it had been destroyed. There wasn't much, but he was doing everything he could to utilize all the resources they had left. With the Hosnian system gone and most of the Republic with it, he didn't have much governmental backing to go on. They were going to have to dig into every back pocket source they had. Scavengers, pirates, smugglers; anyone whose loyalty could be bought. 

The knock made him jump and he looked up, sighing a little until he heard her voice. Relief swept over him like a breeze. As tough as things had been, Jess had a way of making the tension in his chest ease, even if it was just for a few moments. 

"Come in, Jess. It's just me." Poe called, settling the papers back into the folder, the screen on the computer running calculations of all the resources they'd secured thus far. It wasn't much, but every little bit helped at this point. 

Pushing the door open with her palms, she peeked inside and smiled the moment her coffee-colored eyes landed on his frame. There was stubble on his jaw--so not-regulation--and his hair hung a bit longer than usual. Taking care of himself had definitely fallen to the bottom of his list of priorities, but that was why Jess was trying to take care of him as much as possible these days. 

Moving into his space, she leaned against his desk, her legs brushing against his as she forced herself into the center of his attention. "Come for a walk with me," she suggested, holding out her hand. 

Smiling up at her, he leaned back enough that she could move into his space, his hand brushing against her leg. At her suggestion, he bit into the inside of his cheek. His gut instinct was always to say yes to her, no matter what it was. So often, he'd put her first above anyone else, no matter what the consequences. Sometimes without even realizing it. Resting his hand against her hip, his eyes darted to the computer and all the files lining his desk before lifting his dark gaze to meet hers. 

"I have so much to do, Jess..." He mumbled, exhaling a slow breath before nodding. "If I just stare at this screen for another hour though, I'll go crazy…" He took her hand, standing carefully and rolling his shoulders back. 

How long had he been sitting at the desk? 

Leaning forward, she ran her free hand through his hair. "This won't take a second, Commander." She smiled giving his hand a squeeze, as she stood. It was tempting to sway her body into his, to clear the mess of papers off his desk and help him find comfort in a more aerobic fashion, but no… 

She'd been planning this for weeks now, and the techs helping her had just finished the paint job. So lacing her fingers, with his she tugged him toward the door. His legs were longer, but she still walked faster... Even now, it was so ingrained in her personality to extend twice the effort just to make sure she went as far as he did. Falling in love had changed the competitive nature of their relationship but it had not ended it. 

Half-leading him, she took him outside where the cool crisp air of Yavin-4 could fill their lungs. "I worry about you, ya know?" she smiled with only half her normal enthusiasm for the gesture. "All cooped up in there, you might forget what we're fighting for." 

He wrapped his arm around her as they walked, pulling her into his side with a little smile and letting out a long breath. "You say that, but I probably won't make it back to that office tonight." Poe mumbled, glancing at her in his peripherals. Walking with her like this felt so familiar, it was almost like they were back on D'Qar and nothing had changed. But the halls were different, their friends had died, and he was the reason behind it. Just the thought made his shoulders go tense. 

Rubbing his hand over her side, he let out another long sigh as they stepped out of the base. Looking up at the blue sky, he had to blink a few times as his eyes adjusted to the sunlight. "I've been inside that office so much lately..." Poe muttered, his heart aching as he watched the whisper birds fly overhead and it wasn't the first time he felt like his wings had been clipped. 

"I'm alright, Jess. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices, you know?" 

"I know," Jessika agreed softly, turning them, nudging him back toward the hanger. "Sometimes, we don't get to pick our sacrifices. But if we're lucky... we can pick the people that we sacrifice for. So, I don't want you to fight me on this...." Nodding at a nearby tech, a button was pressed that rolled the hanger door upward, revealing her beloved X-wing, Blue Three, only the bird's wings had been repainted. Gone were the three blue stripes, battle scarred and true. In their place was a rebel symbol painted in stark black against the metallic body. 

Pressing up against him, Jess brushed a kiss against his jaw. "She was always the best ship in the Fleet. I always tested my mods on her, before I'd implement them for anyone else. She's faster and lighter than what you're used to flying. Her trigger's a truer aim. I know you were partial to Black One, but I can't bring her back. This.... this I can do. I retrofitted the cockpit to your configurations, and BeeBee and I paired him up, so they're now a closed system. Commander Dameron… may I present, Black One." 

Arching a brow, he turned with her and looked at the hanger in curiosity. He could count on both hands how many times Jess had showed him a new mod and it had never been a big deal like this. As the door opened, he could pick out the ear markers of Blue Three. Part of him could never forget a ship, but he inhaled sharply at the new paint and insignia. His body was tense as he pulled away from her and walked towards the ship slowly. It was like seeing a ghost. He knew that it wasn't his ship. He'd watched that burn to pieces. Any remainder of that had been destroyed in Haldo's sacrifice, another mark on his slate of guilt. 

"Jess.. I can't take your ship from you..." He mumbled, chewing at his lip as he felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes, his gaze wandering over the ship in wonder. "You're genuinely the best pilot we have on the fleet now and I can't take this away from you. I know what sacrifice you're making giving this to me." Turning to look at her, he frowned, moving quickly to cup her face and press a deep kiss to her lips. "Please babe... I need you in the skies and if I take your ship… you deserve the best and we both know that your ship is always the best." 

Her fingers tangled in the dark mass of curls that covered his head, slipping through silky strands until she tugged lightly at the end. Her lips quirked in a self-effacing smile. "It means a lot to me that you'd say that, Commander, but we both know I'm not the best pilot in the Fleet. Practically and actually are words with light-years between them..." Dropping one hand to his waist, she gave his side a squeeze. 

"The best pilot in the Resistance deserves the best ship, and if I can give you back your wings... that's more than enough for me. Besides, I found another ship that needs a bit of fixing up, but I wanted to ask your permission before I redid her paint job..." Jess gestured to the other side of the hanger where she'd brought in his mother's old A-wing. "Some brilliant mechanic had made some bleeding edge modifications to her awhile back, seriously, when I stepped inside it was like she was just… waiting for me." 

Poe let his forehead rest against hers, the tension in him easing as the wave ebbed back and she anchored him to the shore. "I don't know what to say, Jess... " He mumbled, his thumbs smoothing over her cheeks as he leaned back and looked down at her. How had he found himself so head-over-heels in love with this woman in such a short amount of time? In truth, his heart had belonged to her the first time she'd smiled at him on the Hosnian Flight Academy. 

His brow arched at her gesture and he turned to look in the direction, his heart jumping in his throat. For the second time, he pulled himself from her, so drawn by the ship that he had to walk over and run his fingers over the metal. It was coated in dirt from years of sitting next to his family home before he had finally moved it into the garage. Brushing it away, the tarnished green paint job peeked into view and a calming presence washed through him, like his mother had rest her hand on his shoulder and all the tension had drained from him. 

"She'd be so honored... it's fitting really. The strongest woman I knew taught me to fly in this ship. It makes sense that the only woman I've ever loved would fly it now." 

Blushing, Jess looked down, the happiness welling up inside her. She'd been so nervous that he'd veto her choice. The A-wing wasn't as graceful as an X-wing, but she was perfect for surgical strikes, and had survived the Battle of Endor. Jess couldn't help but feel Shara's presence when she stepped inside the starfighter. 

"You told me once that your Dad said he always felt calm during battle because he knew your Mom was looking down on him, his guardian angel. I hope that I can be that for you, Poe..." She stepped toward him and smoothed the wrinkles on his jacket. Casting a look over her shoulder at the newly christened Black One, she smiled. "Maybe you'd like to take your X-wing for a spin? I know BeeBee's been dying to try her out with you..." 

Hand resting against the hull of the A-wing, he let out a breath and smiled, his heart feeling the smallest bit lighter just by this piece of his mothers legacy being so close. "He always talked about how she was his star in the skies, watching over him when he felt lost, guiding him to his true north." 

Glancing back at her, he ran his hand over his dark hair, messing up the mop of curls as he shrugged. "I haven't flown since the evacuation. The last time I was in the cockpit, we lost half the fleet. I feel..." His voice trailed off, the well of anxiety in his chest choking it off as he felt an odd sense of panic take him over. "I can't..." 

Hands moving to cup his face, she tilted him down, forcing him to look at her. "Shhhh… Hey, look at me, Dameron." Her gentle fingers held him, not letting him pull away. "I've known you since you were just a scrawny kid looking for new ways to break the simulator." Jess smiled, feeling adrenaline thunder through her veins as though his panic were contagious. She knew in this moment she had to be the steady one, give him a compass point so he could find his way back to himself. 

"You, my love, you can. You can fly anything," She smiled at him, eyes steady and calm as they held his gaze. "Where better to try again than here? You know these skies, these were your first stars..." She moved her right hand down the left side of his body, palm settling over the thundering cadence of his heart. "Poe Dameron doesn't get afraid," She whispered pulling in closer to him, anchoring him against her small form. "Have you seen him? He flies like he was born to it. He's so fast the scent of wind lingers in his hair... nothing ever catches him." 

Without thought, he leaned into the touch of her hands, his deep eyes finding hers as he let out a shaky breath. She'd known him almost his entire life and stood by him through nearly every struggle that had plagued him. Like a constant in the storm, she soothed the hurricane that battered his weather worn soul. A breathless chuckle left him at the idea that he had ever been scrawny, biting his lower lip as he let his hands rest at her waist. 

A soft beep forced his eyes from hers for a moment, glancing down at BeeBee-Ate as he rolled gently into his legs. Jess's hand settled against his chest and he felt his breath catch, reaching up to curl his fingers around hers. It was strange at times to know that the organ pounding against his rib cage had once stopped beating. Death had never been something he was afraid of, and even still it didn't scare him. 

The idea that he couldn't fly? 

That terrified him more than anything... 

"The skies are my home. Before I understood anything else, I belonged to the stars and my heart is still there. You've always been my guiding light, Jess." His palm rest against her cheek gently, the rough edge of his thumb moving over her pout in a smooth pass. "There is so much guilt in me... I know what I did. I know the choices I made and the outcome. Everyone wants me to feel bad and I do, but..." 

Poe paused, tongue darting against his lower lip as he exhaled slowly to ease the panic that had caused his shoulders to tense to a breaking point. "I wouldn't change what I did; any part of it. To do so would tarnish the memories of all those that gave their lives fighting to take down the First Order. I can't do that." 

"Poe Dameron...." Jess sighed his name, body keening toward his as they stood, the only still point in the hustle of the hanger. "You aren't the keeper of our dead. It isn't on you to canonize or tarnish. We are the spark, your words, my love. A spark isn't the embers and it isn't the fire. We are a transitional point in a story that started before our births and will be told long after we are gone...." She tangled her fingers in the edge of his shirt. 

"You shouldn't carry guilt for the choices you made. Everyone made choices that day. Some choose to follow. None of us have the power to say if different choices would have turned out better or worse. Perhaps if you had retreated at Leia's order the Dreadnaught would have followed and taken out the entire fleet. Perhaps more people would have died. Perhaps less. You can't know, and such questions would only serve to drive you insane." 

"Honor their deaths by living well," Jess murmured, words he had said to her when they'd lost a member of their squadron. "You've been a shadow of yourself since we got here. Go fly… find Poe Dameron out there, and when you do... tell him Jessika Pava is waiting for him on Yavin-4, and she loves him more than anyone's ever loved anybody." 

His body gravitated towards hers as he was want to always do when she was near. They were celestial bodies orbiting around each other, burning brighter with each pass. "It wears on me more every day. We memorialize them as heroes, but in the years to come it will be harder for others to remember who lived or who died. We wear our hurt like armor sometimes, letting everything else deflect off of the blood stained steel." 

Eyes wandering towards the newly painted x-wing, he couldn't help but feel the tug to climb into the cockpit. With a steadying breath, Poe stepped away from the comfort of her embrace, feeling as though he was diving into the deep end without a safety vest. His fingers ran over the brushed metal, years of battle dents decorating the hull. "I can name them all. Each pilot. Their ship. What they did." 

Closing his eyes, he rest his head against the nose of Black One, knowing that Jess understood that connection every aviator had with their starship. "There's stardust in my veins. I was born to fly; my soul has always belonged to the skies. My heart though..." Turning back to her, a soft smile tugged at the corner of his lips as his gaze fell on her. 

"It belongs to you and you know me to my core. Thank you for this, Jess. I think I've needed this more than I realized..." 

****

**hers and mine are the same**

**Author's Note:**

> This was a collaborative effort with my RP partner.  
> If you have any requests or ideas for more Poe/Jessika fics, let us know! we'd be happy to write them.


End file.
